Hi! I’m Giulia Rozzi, a very stylish fauxshionista. I came up with this great original never-been-done-before idea: post pics of me in my favorite outfit of the week! I hope my wardrobe inspires you as much as I have inspired me and myself.
In case you didn’t know, in addition to being a fashion icon I’m also a comedian. Lots of factors go into choosing my on-stage outfits: is this flattering? Is this too revealing? Is this sloppy looking? Do I feel confident in this? Will I be doing jokes where I squat and therefore should avoid wearing a skirt or dress? (I seem to squat a lot on stage). After many years of playing with my wardrobe, I feel like I’ve finally figured out my ideal on-stage look. However I wasn’t always the chic chick you know and love (YOU LOVE ME RIGHT?) Looking at old stand-up videos and performance photos it’s clear that some of my best jokes have been my outfits. Luckily I can forever be haunted by my fashion failures thanks to a simple “Giulia Rozzi comedian” Google image search! So this week I thought I’d take you on a mini tour of my on-stage wardrobe throughout the years and share my personal do’s and don’ts for comedy stage style.
Don’t wear silk.
Unless you’re one of those enigmas that doesn’t sweat. I am someone who, even in the winter, gets major pit stains specifically under my right arm pit. Hot stage lights and high energy are perspiration’s mortal enemy, add moisture revealing silk to the mix and your audience will be laughing at the wet marks under your tits. (Photo credit: David Rodberg from The Far Fetched Comedy Show 2012)
Don’t wear a crop top with pleather pants and platform sneakers.
Okay, here are my excuses for this travesty: it was LA in the early 2000′s, I was doing lots of ecstasy, I was on the Atkins diet and bulimic. I can’t believe I had the balls to casually expose my stomach in front of 200 people at The Comedy Store (did I mention I was doing a lot of ecstasy at the time?) Good thing I went off the Atkins diet and stopped purging (didn’t stop binging though) and put on 35 pounds which immediately put an end to this look. (Photo credit: my sister’s crappy non-digital camera. Yup there once was a time where you had to take film to CVS before you could see your photos).
Don’t do any of this
If you do put on 35 pounds don’t try to hide it with black mesh and obnoxious earrings your ex bought you at Claire’s Boutique. Also don’t make faces that accentuate your double chin. What happens when you do all of this is, 6 years later when you look much better, The Boston Globe will somehow find this old horrible photo to use in an article about you that will be read by many of your former high school classmates. Even though you have so many more current attractive promo shots available, they will find and use this! (Photo credit: a Boston Globe photographer who broke my heart. 2006)
Don’t get straight across bangs if you have curly hair
Straight haired gals, go nuts with your Zooey-licious selves. Curly, wavy chicks, unless you want to spend hours blow drying, ironing, and yanking your fringe that is doomed to curl up, don’t get bangs. Now I know this isn’t a stage pic but it’s me, on-camera, on TV, I LOOKED LIKE THIS ON TV!!!! What is this hair? WTF IS THIS? WHY DIDN’T ANYONE HELP ME!?? Yet for some reason, after years of growing out my bangs, last month I got bangs cut again! There really needs to be a suicide hotline type of service for girls contemplating cutting bangs. Never again. (Photo credit: screen shot of VH1 that I took with my cell phone while I was crying 2011)
Don’t wear a sweater that Bristol Palin wore on her short lived reality show
I was so excited when I found this sweater marked down to $19.99 from $89.99. And then I was putting it in a clothing donation bid after I saw it on her. Damn you, Palins! (Photo credit: The Comedy Studio 2012. I refuse to remove the video of me in this sweater from Youtube because my jokes are awesome).
Don’t wear an Ed Hardy t-shirt
Do I even have to explain the why on this don’t? In my defense, this was before Jon Gossling and the UFC ruined what was once a pretty cool artsy brand. No? Ugh, I’M SORRY. (Photo credit: Maryanne Ventrice at 50 First Jokes 2009)
Do wear something that is comfortable and cute
My favorite things to wear on stage now are dresses with booties (as long as I’m not doing any squatting jokes), dressy shorts with tights and fun blouse, or something like this a tank, jeans, a leather or denim jacket and heels. The leopard print pumps dress things up while the jeans allow me to move around easily and do stuff like this-
See you next week!