What I Wore This Week with Giulia Rozzi – Spring Brights

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Hi! I’m Giulia Rozzi, a very stylish fauxshionistaI came up with this great original never-been-done-before idea: post pics of me in my favorite outfit of the week! I hope my wardrobe inspires you as much as I have inspired me and myself.

Tank: BB Dakota

Some folks showed their support for marriage equality by changing their Facebook pics to equal signs, I showed my support by sporting this cute rainbow tank!  Unfortchies, spring like temps in NYC only lasted for about 30 minutes, but for those 30 minutes I showed my solidarity for gays n’ stuff and my solidarity for style.

I also wore this tank because I went on quite the cheese binge at my friends Game Of Thrones premiere party ( I don’t even watch the show, I just went for the cheese) and this flowy top easily covered up my lactose bloat. (If only it could cover up my cheese gas. LMAO!!!!!!)

I like the slit in the back of this shirt. I call the slit “rear door to the Italian garden” because it shows off the patch of hair I’ve had on my lower back since I was a baby. Gorgeous!

 

 Necklace: Catherine Weitzman

Me-ow! I just I love this necklace! Tigers are my spirit animal because they are angry and according to all 12 of my former therapists I have a lot of anger issues.

Bag: Pour la Victoire

This totes cute tote should have been $200 but with a lil’ of the ole switchin’ of the tag-a-roos I got it for just $30! Now if only I could switch the results of my pregnancy test. LOLOLOL (but really should I have the baby?) LOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

Boots: Ecote

This pic oddly makes my 7.5 size feet look like size 13 monsters but I assure you I have small feet.  My penis is huge, but my feet, small.

Glasses: Urban Outfitters

I plan to get real lenses put in these once I have health insurance. Til then I’m gonna fake it till I make it (“it” being an adult income with benefits). Also these glasses will help my comedy career. Tina Fey wears glasses, and she is doing okay, FOR A GIRL! As you may know women are not funny, a fact proven by highly intelligent Youtube comments such as “chicks r no funny” and  ”bitch stop making bad jokes and make me a sandwich.” Hopefully these glasses will help insecure miserable cowardly mysoginists feel more comfortable laughing at my new comedy album featuring 270 minutes of period jokes.

 

BTDUBS

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  • http://theimpersonals.com/ The Impersonals

    I like this column but it would be better if the outfits were awful

    • JacquelineNovak

      I actually like that the outfits are good. It put the douchery where it really belongs. cuz there are lots of douchebags with nice clothes.