Hi! I’m Giulia Rozzi, a very stylish fauxshionista.
First and foremost, I got bangs this week. I look just like Zooey Deschanel… playing the role of an illegal immigrant. I think this do really brings out my nose. I used to be really self conscious about my nose because it’s the exact same nose as my dad and my dad is a man. People would be all “you look just like your father” and I was all “oh cool, because of my nose or my hairy chest?” As I got older I fell in love with its Roman-esque shape. Then two years ago an acting teacher told me “your face is too Jewy for TV. You need a nose job, lip injections and some work on your chin.” (More on that here) Uhhhhh, I wish I was a Jew, that might actually help me get work in Hollywood! Anyways I told her to fuck off, then I walked over to H&M and cried in the sale section. You guys like my face, right? RIGHT?!
Wait, what were talking about again? Something about me. Oh my outfit!
Jacket: GAP Thrifted
I snagged this GAP denim jacket from a thrift store in Portland last spring. My super clean paranoid Italian mom hates 2nd hand clothes. She worries “what if that jacket has AIDS?” to which I explained“Mom, jackets use condoms when they have jacket sex.”
The pants are one of my new favorites. They have lots of fun zippers to nervously open and close when I’m feeling social anxiety at a crowded party of my peers because WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS JUDGING ME?!
Kitten Heels: Kimchi Blue
I like how the red adds a pop of color to this outfit and blends in with the blood dripping from the shoe-bite sores on my ankle.
Not sure where I got this clutch or what to say about it except it’s nice because it’s mine and this is my blog. Also, someone fill it with money please! (smiley face hashtag help me)
Necklace: Urban Outfitters
This is what is called a “statement necklace.” The middle piece sorta looks like a an arrow pointing down so I guess I’m making the statement “look at my tits” or “look at my vagina” or “look at my tits and my vagina!”
Also, this is pretty cool shot of the beauty mark/freckle/mole/thing I have on my neck. As a kid my dad would tap it and go “ding dong I’m ringing your doorbell” and I would laugh. Only issue with my dad is if you laugh at one his jokes he will keep telling it to make you laugh again. However if you don’t laugh, he’ll keep telling the joke until you laugh. Basically I was screwed and I was also sore because even at 5’3 my dad has a pretty powerful tap.
Why am I talking about my dad so much in this post? Also, why am I lying and calling him dad when I’m totally a girl who still calls her dad “daddy”? Also who am I asking these questions to? Also, why didn’t anyone ask me to my junior prom? Also, how do you know if you are losing your mind? Also, sorry for all the also’s but why are you counting them?
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