What I Wore This Week: $99,000 Car & $4.99 Nuggets

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Hi! I’m Giulia Rozzi, a very stylish fauxshionista. I came up with this great original never-been-done-before idea: post pics of me in my favorite outfit of the week! I hope my wardrobe inspires you as much as I have inspired me and myself.

Hello hello! What a summer, I moved twice, I went through a break-up, I stopped using Tom’s All Natural deodorant. So many changes and so little time to share all my amazing outfits. (Bad blogger, bad). So let’s get back to biz with this hot little number, the perfect get-up for one of the last summer days.

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Top: Vintage ($5!!!)

Shorts: Urban Outfitters ($5!!!)

Shoes: Ecote

Bag: Hayden Harnett

Sunglasses: Betsey Johnson

First let’s call attention to the ovsies, I am indeed in front of McDonalds hence my smirk as I sniff the sweet sick smell that only McD’s can produce. Ahhh it smells like my childhood in which I ate like a beast but thanks to my parents stellar genetics (and the fact that I would vomit all the time when I was car sick or watched a scary movie) I remain a tiny kid despite my large appetite. At least 4 times a week I indulged in McDonald’s or Burger King (Burger King had better burgers, McDonald’s wins for nuggets, but at age 6 I’d take whatever I can get my high cholesterol hands on). As a child I was a picky eater (aka bratty asshole whose Italian parents set no nutritional boundaries  and demanded fast food or nothing at all. Thankfully my pediatrician (RIP Dr Yessaian) advised my mom to just let me eat myself out of my junk food phase and then eventually I’d like normal people food (eventually being college). So in addition to eating large cheese pizza’s alone and platter’s of pork fried rice with gravy as a food court snack, I’d eat lots of burgers, fries AND nuggets. Not like on different trips I’d have the Happy Meal and a side of nuggets. And not only did I get all of that but I insisted my hamburger have pickles and ketchup only, NO MUSTARD forcing my dad who just worked all night and day (he is a maniac) to drive thru, order, then have to wait in his car in the lot for a speciality burger (fine, the guy can’t say “I’m proud of you” but he did get his little piggy her food fix). Where was I going with all this? Oh yea, for split second I thought about “tackling” (good God McDonald’s what is wrong with you) the $4.99 nugget deal for ol’ times sake, then I remembered that non-organic chicken is full of cancerous poison that bloats and rots your body, so NO THANKS! Back to my outfit…

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I love love love this top. The colors are so bright and pretty and go great with my tan (yes I care about not getting nugget cancer but have no fear of skin cancer). I am big believer in balancing out your exposure in the sense that I chose this flowy top because I had on short shorts. I would not do short shorts with a tight crop top, unless I was working as a video ho (anyone hiring? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL kill me) Do the shorts give a touch of camel toe? Perhaps, but if an uncomfortable crotch wedgie is the price I must pay to show off my sticks then sign me up. (Did I mention I’m recently single?)

The jewels  are my usually Giulia nameplate and Catherine Weitzman tiger necklace plus the addition of new Catherine Weitzman piece, the branch necklace. I love her designs so much.

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I wear these booties so much I’m surprised they haven’t fallen apart. They are so comfy and go with just about everything- dresses, skirts, shorts, jeans, my inflatable sumo wrestler costume.

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Ah my sweet sweet Hayden Harnett bag. My pal Brandy Barber turned me on to this local designer of quality leather goods. I love the gold hardware and it’s large city size. And I love that I got it for $225 half off during their end of season sale. More so I love that it’s one of the first bigger purchases (cut to home-owning grown-ups pointing and laughing at me) I’ve made NOT on a credit card. Cash money bitches, I’m almost an adult!

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My Betsey Shades are one of my favorite things I own. They are big but not buggy and they are dark enough to hide my eyes so no one can see me crying at Starbucks.

Now here is where things got fun. During my professional modeling shoot (aka me saying to a friend “can you please just fucking take a few pics of me for my blog?” and friend saying “you’re so annoying, no one cares about your life bitch!”) we saw 2 cops laughing while a Porsche was being towed. Apparently some douche spent so much money on his car he didn’t have any money left to pay all his parking tickets. Of course we ran over to capture the irony.

imageHahahahahahaha I’m wearing a $10 outfit and you’re getting towed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (who wins here? I have no idea.) Then my pal and I screamed at the cops “how tiny do you think this guy who owns this car’s penis is?” then we all laughed, then I called and asked my parents if could borrow money again. AMERICA!

(ps. anyone know if Porsche guy is single? I’d like someone to get me another handbag).

See you next week!

 

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