SORT IT with Greg Johnson – Man Slept With Dead Wife For 5 Years

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In this edition, Greg Johnson tells “Le Van from Ha Lam” to SORT IT!

Some dude named Van (chill) in Vietnam (less chill), his wife died in 2003.  Sad.

As the story begins

According to reports, Van began by sleeping upon his wife’s grave after she died in 2003.

WTF?  GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

If you start sleeping on your wife’s grave, you need to make some changes!!!!

Maybe quit drinking!!!

You’ve got to SORT IT OUT!!!!!!!

HOWEVER, that move almost seems NORMAL compared to what came next.

You better sit down…

He said that a year and a half later he decided to dig a tunnel next to his wife’s grave so he could sleep beside her away from the rain and wind.

Excuse me?

 However, neighbors and local authorities found out about the practice and persuaded Van to stop.

GOOD!  I’d be like you BETTER frickin’ stop.

Fucking VAN.

Unfortunately, this is getting way worse before it gets any better.  Here’s your boy Van’s encore.  Get ready…

Subsequently in November 2004 Van returned to the grave, dug up his wife’s corpse and brought it home, where it remains today.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man Slept In Bed Next To Dead Wife For 5 years

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!???!?!?!?!?!

WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

His neighbors are like “we said ‘STOP’, not ‘DIG UP your dead wife’s body and SPOON IT!’”

Fucking VAN.

Warning: there’s photos.

Spoiler alert: they’re BEYOND terrifying.

No.  No.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAKE IT STOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Can’t feel my legs!  Can’t feel my legs!

I may never sleep again!!!!

OH NO!  Wait.  NOT THE SON, TOO!

NOT THE SON!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOO VAN, DON’T LET HIM TOUCH IT!!!!!!!!!!

MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s IMPOSSIBLE to let your son kick it with your DEAD WIFE’S CORPSE and assume he’ll grow up to function AT ALL.

You can kiss college goodbye!

Van’s son, photographed below with his mother’s corpse, is said to hug her body before going to bed each night.

WHAT???  WHAAAAAAAAT???!?!?!?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THAT KID IS DONE!!!!

Note to “Van.”  If you let your son spoon his DEAD MOM, you can kiss the promise of him NOT eventually killing you GOODBYE.

I sentence this kid to therapy, inside of a prison, from 18 to life.

Local authorities are said to be planning an inspection of the case

Yeah.  MAYBE GET ON THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAN.com – Man Slept In Bed With Dead Wife For 5 Years

-Greg Johnson

More DoucheChillz Originals

THE INTERNET BY GREG JOHNSON

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  • Jacinda

    This guy is hilarious… groundbreaking and clearly knows good stuff. I love this website.

    • Douche Chillz

      Greg Johnson is indeed fabulous and is a regular contributor to DoucheChillz.com, and in the future you can see him at a DoucheChillz live comedy show. Delighted to hear you’re enjoying the site. Please continue to let us know what you think through commenting!