Solid Gold HITZ – Danzig’s Library: No Shirt, No Problem


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Are you a christian rapper? Do you make sexy in Serbian Dance clubs? Are you in a heavy metal band and take your lyrics seriously? Are you Will.I.Am? Well then welcome to the Douche Chillz Music section, Solid Gold HITZ. It’s a big tent and you’re all welcome. It’s like Bonnaroo, except somehow the bands are more annoying than the people. 

You are not ready for Danzig’s library’s late fees.

1st rule of Danzig’s Library: Don’t wear a shirt, stupid. 2nd rule of Danzig’s Library: when Danzig tells you about werewolves don’t ask if they’re real. They’re real, stupid. And hey, when Danzig tells you about Jesus killing a kid, you laugh. He’s a funny guy, stupid.

-Dan Goodman


Dan Goodman is a valued contributor at He is the creator of GhettoMyspace and the director of Skinja. Dan is a stand up comedian. Check out his videos on youtube and visit

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