Hurricane Sandy Update: It’s All About Staci

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How is Frankenstorm affecting the recently legally separated?

Clearly the storm is a reflection of their current struggle, but so is everything else. Evidence suggests Sandy was a lesson-as-gift for Staci, you know, to help her get her groove back. Hopefully, Staci will use the hurricane as motivation to take an art class at the community college. You know, a teacher in high school really thought her watercolor of Lenny Kravitz showed potential. We’re waiting for a movie review of “Eat Pray Love” from Staci (it’s probably a big two thumbs up). It really kicks into Staci-gear around :38.

Chillz Quotables

“It’s a fuckin stooorm……a literal storm.”

“Hurricane Sandy, thank you for making me find my inner strength.”

“Thank you to the universe for making sure that I was able to purchase the very last 10 gallons of water they had at Target.”

“Oh my gosh and there’s a pony hanging out by my house. Hi, pony. His name’s Marshmallow.”

“Well, that’s enough of me.”

“So I’ll take care of me, and you take care of you.”

Speaking of…

Also, check another of our reporters, straight outta Morristown, New Jersey. He’s probably on mushrooms.

Sandy

Tear into the last hot cocoa packet, friends. It’s time to subsist on DoucheChillz. Stay tuned for the best Franken-reporting!

Follow us on twitter @douche_chillz to stay abreast of all.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/willbraden Will Braden

    “Thank you to the universe for making sure that I was able to purchase the very last 10 gallons of water they had at Target.”

    My god, if I could write lines like that, I would be a happy man. Good lord, that is ridiculous.

    • http://www.facebook.com/thejacquelinenovak Jacqueline Novak

      ahahah