What I Wore With Giulia: How To Style Your Herps.

Tags:

comediansdouchechillz originals

Hi! I’m Giulia Rozzi, a very stylish fauxshionista. I came up with this great original never-been-done-before idea: post pics of me in my favorite outfit of the week! I hope my wardrobe inspires you as much as I have inspired me and myself.

Hate to brag but this week I got a development deal!!!! With a cold sore. Actually sores. Or blisters. Or it might be impetigo (which is a disease that normally affects toddlers). Anyhoo, I got 5 small red bumps on the side of my lip and they are not cute. I didn’t want to cover them in tons of make-up because I was worried it make it worse, so instead I spent a lot of time doing an “oh dear” pose.

After a while my arm started to hurt so I experimented with other ways to hide my herpes ( NOT THE SEXUAL KIND OKAY!?) while still looking haute.

Look 1: Wild Wild West

Simply take a bandana and tie it around the bottom half of your face, it’ll cover your blemish (and your stash if you haven’t had a chance to wax like me). If you ever thought about becoming a graffiti artist or robbing a bank, with this look this just might be the week to do it gurl.

Look 2: Artisanal Truffle Oil Salesman at the Farmers Market

Speaking of stashes, this look requires no props, just your own long hair, bobbie pins, and a willingness to look like a carnival freak. This look can also be called “Successful Male Comedian.” If you’re a female comic like me, you may want to throw on a flannel and rock this look even after your sores heal.

Look 3: The Nelly

If hip hop artist Nelly can rock a Band- Aide so can you! Nelly supposedly did it to represent somebody he knew that died in gang violence, you can wear it to represent the sores you hope die within 3-5 days.

Look 4: The Burka or (The Burqa depending on your Google results)

This look is HOT! No seriously, I can’t breathe in here. How do some women do this all summer? And if me in a burka offends anyone, this website is way more offensive.

Look 5: Bag Head

To all those dudes who’ve said “I’d bang her if she put a bag over her head” your dream has come true! For this style, simply get a bag, cut holes for eyes and put it over your head. CAUTION be sure to cut holes for eyes BEFORE you put the bag over your head, cutting holes while they bag is on your head can result in loss of sight and loss of my respect for you because WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER PUT SCISSORS SO CLOSE TO YOUR EYES YOU MORON?

Look 6: Black Eyed Blues

When my sister and I were little we made up a character named Black Eyed Blues which was simply a sheet over your head with sunglasses. Black Eyed Blues didn’t do much except sing the “Black Eyed Blues” song which only had one lyric, repeating “Black Eyed Blues” in different octaves. We were very creative kids. However I’m now realizing Black Eyed Blues has a more obvious meaning, having a sheet over your face causes you to walk into walls and give yourself black eyes. Well, at least a black eye will distract people from looking at my jacked up lip. So it’s a win-win.

Please share your favorite fugly face covering tricks and tips in the comments. Happy hiding!

Comments (0)

Add a Comment