Acting is hard, but you can totally do it. So do it.
We’re hosting our own DoucheChillz Monologue Contest, and the winner will be announced on Oscar Sunday.
Denzel Washington won an Oscar for his role in Training Day. Angelina Jolie won for hers in Girl Interrupted. People on youtube love performing monologues from these films, the badass ones in particular. (See below) Still, we think you can do even better.
Please perform one of these two monologues to the best of your ability for a chance to be honored on our homepage and to win DoucheChillz swag with your name and achievement mentioned. Sweatshirt, tote, tee…you make the call. There will be a people’s prize and douchechillz special jury prize, unless the douchechillz special jury agrees with the people. Then there will be just that one prize. Viewers can vote on their favorite submission by commenting beneath the video.
We can’t wait to see what you’ve got!
Please upload a video to youtube and send us the link, or submit directly.
Monologue Text and Video of Award-Winning Original Performances
Lisa’s Monologue – from Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
They didn’t release you ’cause you’re better Dais…They just gave up. And you call this a life, huh? Taking Daddy’s money, buying your dollies and your knick knacks, and eating his fucking chicken, fattening up like a prize fucking heifer. You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation, and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows.. Everybody knows… That he fucks you.. What they don’t know, is that you like it.. You like it. But hey man, it’s ok, it’s cool, it’s fine, it’s fucking FINE, he’s a man, he’s a dick, he’s a man, he’s a dick, he’s a chicken, he’s a dad. Valium, speculum, whatever. Hm? Whatever. You like being Mrs Randone, it’s probably all you’ve ever known.
Alonzo’s Monologue – from Training Day by David Ayer
Awwww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I’m putting cases on all you bitches! Huh. You think you can do this shit. Jake! You think you can do this to me?! You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you! SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown! I’m the man up in this piece! You’ll never see the light of…..who the fuck do you think you’re fucking with? I’m the police, I run shit around here. You just live here! Yeah, that’s right, you better walk away! Go on and walk away, ’cause I’m gonna burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain’t got shit on me! That’s right, that’s right. Shit, I don’t, fuck. I’m winning anyway, I’m winning… I’m winning any motherfucking way. I can’t lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can’t kill me.
Check out our other homages to homages:
View other film-related chillz