We asked some friends to send us their reject headshots — the ones that didn’t make the cut for professional use due to high douchechillian factor of their poses, facial expressions, or general appearance. Comedian Mara Herron really delivered. Here, Mara tells us all why each of these head shots give her douchechillz.

1) The Quintessential Headshot

I thought I was so cool when I got it done. I thought, “this is like the perfect theatrical headshot” (never booked one thing with it)  plus I love it’s black and white. Also  just how it’s very “look deep into my eyes, everyone. I’m an artist.”

2) LOL MY FIRST HEADSHOT EVER!

I was 21 and just about to move to New York!  My dad’s print agent suggested a photographer and I went to LA to shoot in some parking lot.  My little sister was there. I remember cause then the photog just started taking pics of me, my dad and sis.  It wasn’t “my day” anymore.  Also, I LOOK SO LATINA!  My real name is Martina but I only go by it when I’m pretending to be hispanic, and in this obvs I am.

3) I MEAN…

COME THE FUCK ON.  WHO AND WHY?

4) ”Hey everyone!  Can’t you picture me as a print model?”

Look at me just randomly in heels and a dress off the train tracks and  coming out of lockers.  I’m so laid back and chill, guys.  I do like this pic though cause I was on Adderall and at my lowest weight.  I took my best headshots on Adderall.  Miss that shit.

5) Carolyn [Castiglia] looks fine, but…

…I’m just hurting. Just ugly, bro…not right.

6) “I love Aspen!”

Look what a zany comedian I am, everybody!  I’m not only making a funny face and looking to the side, I’m wearing a beanie indoors!!!

7) “I’ve Still Got It”

You know what, I just can’t.  It’s shit like this where I can’t take myself seriously. I look like I want that to be my shot in Redbook magazine when I have a successful career and three daughters, but currently it’s 4pm, I’m in a silk nighty and I have two craigslist roommates…so it’s like a fake sexy and happy, you feel me?  DoucheChillz, man.

-Mara Herron

Mara Herron is a hilarious New York City based comedian.

Check out the first edition of Embarrassing Photos – Zimlinghaus, Fink, and Hailes’ Headshots

YOUR TURN

Send us your photos — professional portraits, headshots, or regular old embarrassing photos of yourself that give you major douchechillz? Tell us why.

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